Posts Tagged ‘Sue DeRaad’
Thursday, December 10th, 2009
It’s A Girl!
Look at all that hair! How could our baby be screaming and not even born yet?
“Okay Sue, just one more push,” I heard the doctor say. In just minutes after Roger called out our daughter’s identity, he reached over handing me a lifetime of joy!
Proverbs 31:29
“Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Cassidy, I want to bless you today. I want to bless you for who you are as a daughter, wife and a mother. Most of all, I want to bless you for who you are as a person.
I want to bless your mind. You have a strong mind. A mind that learns well and teaches naturally.
Your heart is tender toward the Lord. Children are drawn to you because you are loving, enchanting and open. They feel safe with you, because you set boundaries for them; this protects them and gives them freedom within those boundaries to explore and discover who they’ve been created to be.
You both encourage and challenge those around you to be strong and you motivate others to accomplish their goals. Your character is strong yet your heart is open and vulnerable! You stand strong for the things you believe in. You are honest and trustworthy.
As a wife, you are respectful and honoring. You hear the voice of your husband, but you don’t hide from expressing your own. You are willing to walk together in life’s great adventures and I bless that in you both! I love how you respect your husband and yet how honest you are in your relationship with him. I’ve seen you grow together as you trust the love and honesty of each other’s hearts. Your relationship is a model of God’s love. I bless your marriage, that it will be used to bring truth to others who stand by and observe it.
As a mommy, I see only joy in your eyes and excitement in your voice as you speak of your children. The word nurture defines you perfectly. There is nothing that brings more light to your glowing face than when you are watching Levi play.
You and Jason are gifted with the exact equation of nurturing, fun loving playfulness, guidance, love and discipline that were needed for Levi and his future siblings to grow up to be all that God created them to be.
As a daughter, my heart overflows with admiration and delight in the woman you’ve become. You are a friend to me and I am blessed! I treasure the memories we shared as you grew up; your spunk, your emotion, your imagination and love for make believe.
You always knew exactly what you wanted and you were more than ready to go after it! In that I see determination. Your fear of bugs, flies and crawly things made you the perfect little girl! But somewhere along the way, you turned into a well-balanced young lady who wasn’t afraid to ride four wheel ATV’s, fish, and hunt, or even shooting a partridge on the fly. Your brother was well pleased with your ability to throw a mean football, yet when you put on a dress, threw your hair up and polished your nails, you could walk the red carpet with the best of princesses! Your grace is amazing, the light in your eyes blinding and your smile and laughter are contagious! God has graced you with balance and beauty that made you the perfect match for the warrior in your life.
I want to bless you Cassidy, with a word picture. A symbol that I believe encompasses who you really are. A tulip I know is one of your favorite flowers, and as I’ve thought about a symbol for you, I think a tulip is perfect. First of all, a tulip has a unique beauty all it’s own; it’s a flower that one just takes a step back and enjoys. It is most often displayed and enjoyed in groupings rather than alone as a single flower.
Remember that Cassidy; that you are relational and it’s important for you to stand with others in order for your beauty to be shared. When being enjoyed by on lookers a tulip is less likely than other flowers to be picked and separated from its grouping.
Beds of tulips are often enjoyed from a distance as one stands in awe of everything they represent. Life, the onset of Spring, the end of winter. You too, are often enjoyed from a distance; your beauty is striking, yet calls those looking on to silence. When you are in your element, you represent life as well. I see it especially when you are taking advantage of each teachable moment in Levi’s life, or when you have the opportunity of being in front of a classroom of students sharing their learning experiences. Each tulip is different; tulips first are enjoyed because of the variety of colors they can display, they can also range from very plain to very fancy. It may have very fine straight lines or rounded with frilly edges, but that doesn’t change its beauty! This compares to your balanced personality; you are okay with who you are in both jeans and a gown.
The stem of a tulip appears to be very strong, yet it can be broken very easily if it is not handled with love and respect. In fact an entire tulip is very vulnerable to harm. You, Cassidy, are similar to that. You are often very fragile, but no one would know because you stand so tall, so confident and strong. This is where you must remember your dependence on God, and others. A tulip is a bulb that needs to be protected by someone who will take it in from the cold and put it out again in the spring to enjoy being kissed by the sun and refreshed by the rain! The bulb is the “heart” of this plant and must be protected from the cold and the heat. If the bulb is left unprotected, it will die! I pray that your strength will be in Him and your beauty will be only a reflection of what’s truly in your heart!
I bless and honor the day you were born, because without you, my heart would not be filled to overflowing like it is today! Today I found out that God has given you a daughter as well. The fruit of your womb! My eyes well up in anticipation of the thought of you experiencing the same relationship with your daughter as I have had with you! What a Blessing!
Cassidy, I love you! May I bless your future today as you continue to walk forward into the Journey God has planned for you! This is really just the beginning. May your life be a continued example of God’s love and commitment. May you enjoy relationships that are healthy and strong within your marriage, your family, and also with friends that will challenge and encourage you. I pray that you find your purpose in Him. And when walking confidently in that purpose, taking every opportunity He brings your way so that you will experience true satisfaction and fulfillment. Step out Cass! Trust God to make you all that you can be!
Be blessed my dear. I love you!
Mom
Tags: Core Values, Sensitivity, Sue DeRaad, Sue DeRaad's Blog, The Journey of Thomas
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Monday, November 30th, 2009
Desolate, alone, no where to turn, despair…
So hopeless that taking his own life must have seemed like the only choice.
How does someone get to this place…we were heartbroken as we watched some 450 people came to say good-bye. They spoke of his life…A “Smile” that was contagious, a “Heart” that kept giving! The stories repeatedly testified of people, people whose lives were touched by this one man! One after another stood to bare witness of the man they knew…or thought they knew. He was a friend, a son, a father and a husband…
He seemingly, was a lover of life, people, family and the out of doors.
What went wrong?? How does one hide their despair from 450 people?
What could have been going through his mind?
There is nothing good about me…
If anyone were to find out…
No one would understand…
I am so ashamed…
I can’t ask…I just couldn’t take another rejection!
I must hide…
I feel hopeless…
These are thoughts many of us have had before…the lies that Satan plants in our minds. Our negative self – talk.
As I sat and observed this tragic occasion, I felt saddened at the people coming and going, watching their expression of bewilderment, grief, shock and silence! The truth was…People were crying out for a chance to listen, a chance to have a part in reversing the outcome. But that was impossible now. Questions were raised…why didn’t he call me? Why didn’t he trust me enough to confide? Feelings expressed… “I’m angry… I’m hurt…I’m so sad!” Honesty reigned, but yet many heads still hung in confusion and grief!
I’ve been looking at my relationships…Do I really listen? Do I see the body language?
Do I look beyond his/her words? Am I a confidant? Am I safe for him/her? Do the people I am closest to, feel safe with me. Do they trust me to be a confidant? Am I trustworthy?
There were many times when despair was also a part of my husband Roger’s life. He believed the lies as well. The lies that no one understood, that no one cared and that he couldn’t possibly be honest about his life, that he’d be rejected again.
I too, being in an unhappy marriage, didn’t want anyone to think badly of the man I loved. I didn’t think I had anyone I could tell that another man was paying attention to me. I believed I had no one I could trust with that information.
We both hid and continued in our pain alone. No one knew how messy our marriage was. So sitting through this service was very personal for us… both as a very difficult time to remember back to that life, but also as a time of awakening for us to not take our relationship or our healing for granted.
As I looked over and saw the tears streaming down Roger’s face, he reached over and squeezed my hand. I knew then that we were united in spirit, in our grief, our compassion for this family and in our gratefulness for what God has brought us through.
We may struggle at times with some of those same feelings, but we are confident in God’s love for us, our love for one another and the love of our families that has been tried and tested. When life’s circumstances seem difficult, we are not hopeless, because …
Psalms 37: 23 – 24: The steps of a man are established by the Lord; and when he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong; Because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.
There have been times, when I thought my life was out of control and this verse brought me peace. A counselor once shared with me that while driving along, he has reached over to hold the hand of his Heavenly Father. What a sweet reality! It’s a comfort to know that He is that close!
Lord Jesus, May your love penetrate us so deeply that others are moved by your presence, may they sense your love, and be drawn to You through us. Make us approachable, honest and open in our relationships, so that others feel safe. Help us remember that every relationship is divinely appointed by you. Make us aware of opportunity everyday to make a difference in someone else’s life. Forgive me for the times I have overlooked someone because of time, busyness, or my own selfish agenda.
Open the eyes of my heart Lord, to be sensitive to the needs of others and available when someone needs to be lead into your presence. Thank you for the privilege of placing the hand of a hurting person into yours…Amen
Tags: Sue DeRaad, The Journey of Thomas
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Friday, October 30th, 2009
As Iron sharpens Iron, so does one man sharpen another. Proverbs 27:17
Derek was only 18 when he learned of his father’s addiction. Sitting on the step of a stairwell in a hotel close to his college, he hung his head. First anger, then such severe grief for an 18 year old to have to endure, just when he was trying to figure out his own identity and place in this world.
As a mom, I felt so much pain for my son. I felt so fearful of the effect this news would have on his future choices. I wanted to protect him, to keep him from hurting, but I couldn’t, I needed to let him feel and then handle it in his own way. I could‘t fuss over him or coddle him. He was alone in a whole new environment, knowing very few, no family around him and having to deal with such devastating news about his father. How would this news change their relationship? Would they ever be okay?
Today, I look back to that time and I marvel to think of what God has done in ten years. The progress, the healing of the hearts of two men that I love so much, two men who are learning together to live…wild at heart!
Derek, is a dad himself now living in South Dakota. One night, in the Fall of 2008, while still living in Minnesota, we got a call from him. He asked for his father and said,” Dad I need you!” He worked on his in-laws family farm, but had recently gone on his own and he was feeling overwhelmed! He had so much on his plate and wanted his dad close by. Derek is a risk taker, He was willing to trust God and step out, but now he was asking for help. His dad could have said, “Derek, I’m over 50 years old, I’m done moving around. I am staying right where I’m at.
But instead, he wrestled with God until there was peace, and then he dropped everything and ran to his son! By that I mean…God provided full time work for Roger as a farm hand with Derek’s brother-in-law. Within two weeks after the offer for the job, he was on his way to SD. I went with Roger that first week and then I had to come back to MN and stay working until our house sold. Starting with the very first day we arrived, Roger and Derek spent most nights sleeping in the barn calving out 200 heifers. Derek had spent a couple weeks preparing for our arrival. They had a single mattress and a recliner in the tack room with a small heater and a compact refrigerator also, not to mention a portable DVD player. Many hilarious stories have come from that experience along with some life lessons I am sure.
Mutual respect came from all the experiences they had as they lived in very tight quarters depending on one another to get through day and ultimately the calving season. Walking together in the middle of the night through blizzards and frigid sub 0 degree temperatures…one holding a light and one picking up a new born calf who was on the brink of hypothermia, carrying them to the barn, rubbing them down to increase circulation then placing them in a warmer to save their lives. They worked together assisting many of the cows who were struggling to have their first babies. There were nights where they were exhausted. They had to continue setting their alarms every two hours and getting up to check the cows who were getting close to delivery. Some nights Derek would wake up and sneak out to let his father have some extra sleep and some nights Rog would do the same for him.
Derek saw his dad walking in the newness of the man God created him to be. He saw a seasoned kind of calmness he had not seen in his dad before. He respected him for being willing at his age to change his entire lifestyle and his job to be near him and his family, taking the opportunity to rebuild that relationship.
Roger saw his son as the man he was becoming, strong and adventurous, organized and knowledgeable of the task at hand. He had a strong work ethic, willing to work hard to provide for his family.
This relationship didn’t happen over night. There have been some hard times where the growing pains of honesty, love and respect were being sharpened. But they have worked hard to regain that mutual respect that comes from working through the steps of the journey!
As Iron sharpens Iron, so does one man sharpen another…Proverbs 27:17
This is a verse we have up in our family room near the pictures of Roger, Derek and Jason our son-in law. It is a good reminder of the importance that relationship plays between men.
As a mom, I am moved again by God’s goodness and grace in the lives of Derek and his father. Just 2 weeks ago Roger got a phone call. Derek sounded like a kid in a candy store. He had been invited on an Elk hunting trip. They were leaving for the Rockies the next morning. They would be hauling their horses to the southwest corner of Colorado, unloading, riding up into the mountains and sleeping under the stars. He wanted his dad to come along and be a part of this adventure. It was a very difficult decision; however Roger knew that with the symptoms of West Nile virus still present in his body, it wouldn’t be a good idea health wise for him to go on this trip.
I continue to thank God whenever I see them together. I still, after all these years, am moved to tears as I think of the gift of relationship between these two men in my life. Without both men trusting the God of the universe…things could be very different! The world says, “Just write ‘um off!” But our God is in the business of healing and restoring, He says, “Come to Me…”
Tags: Derek DeRaad, Father and Son, Journey of Thomas, Roger DeRaad, Sue DeRaad
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Saturday, October 17th, 2009
Ten Years Ago I didn’t know if we’d even have a family.
Monday morning, I marveled as I considered the past weekend. Wow God, you really did care for us as a family. You had a work to do and you used our family to show us just how big, wide and vast your love really is! Thank you Father!
Ten years ago, I didn’t know if we’d even have a family. In the midst of our deepest struggles, there was so much pain, so much hurt…so much forgiveness needed to find our way back to each other. Could it ever be, would we even get there? Could life ever be found again aside from the severe pain and confusion we were in?
Jeremiah 29: 12-14
“Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. And I will be found by you,”: declares the Lord, “and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord. “
Watching Roger’s parents drive away, I smiled, what a beautiful weekend. Our family had been separated for nearly 10 years. Derek married and starting his family in SD, Cassidy and Jason in TN for 6 years and then to Owatonna, MN near us. Our parents and sisters had remained in International Falls the whole time. It was great having our daughter Cassidy, Jason and Levi, near us, but we still felt unsettled because our son Derek, Laura and their girls were still 7 hours away.
You might be saying, “Many families are separated, that is not so unusual.” But in spite of all the hurt from our past, we loved each other and didn’t want to settle for being apart. God wasn’t finished with us yet and we began to pray and seek after Him for direction! I felt certain that our family must be gathered back together to bring the kind of healing that God desired and that would glorify His name.
I began doing a lot of reading in the Old Testament. I read about how God scattered the Israelites because of their sin, but in the end he gathered them from where he had sent them, to take back the land that was stolen from them by the enemy, Our “Land” was “our hearts and our relationships”
Today, as I reminisce about our recent move to South Dakota and this past weekend with family, I am humbled and stand amazed at His great love for us. The weekend was filled with excitement and laughter. The grandmas were in the kitchen cooking a Chinese dinner for everyone. With 15 adults and 12 children, our work was cut out for us! The mom’s with young children were watching and learning, sharing adult conversation while keeping one eye on the 12 children squealing with excitement over being together with their cousins. Great Grandparents watched in delight and the men in the living room anxiously awaited the call to dinner.
As the “Grandma” of the house, I rang the old brass bell in memory of our great great grandma who relished each moment she had her family around her table. Ringing the bell meant it was time to gather and ask God to bless the food we were about to eat and to give thanks for the family gathering around.
There is a picture stamped on my heart forever. I will go back to this day often and be filled up with the memory of our children, their families and our parents sitting around our dining room table feasting not merely of His provision, but also of the breath taking aroma of our of love for one another, as forgiveness permeated the air around us.
This, my friend is what Grace Rivers is all about – God building and restoring broken relationships that seem impossible! It is all about providing the tools, and sharing the joy of seeing others experience the Grace that our heavenly father so freely gives. This will require a willingness to trust God to do His work in us and through us. Trusting God to heal our pain is a risk worth taking!
Jeremiah 31:1-2a, 3- 4a
“At that time,” declares the Lord, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be my people.” Thus says the Lord, “the people who survived the sword, found grace in the wilderness…” “I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness” “Again I will build you and you shall be rebuilt,”
Tags: family, Restored, Sue DeRaad, The Journey of Thomas
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Monday, October 5th, 2009
Active Participation
Am I willing to put aside my own agenda to in order to listen to someone else’s heart?
Phil. 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Wow, I thought as I sat looking up at the stars. It was amazing! The stars had taken over the entire universe. The Big Sky, which is normally referred to as being in Montana, had escaped to the Dakotas. My mind was lost for a moment, until I heard the Roger sigh. We were lost together sitting outside on our little patio with only the dim flame of a candle between us, the perfect end to a very hard day.
Roger and I both started out with our agenda’s. He was going to spend the day cleaning out the rest of the “junk” from our move. Then he wanted to dig the potatoes, bring in the pumpkins, squash, and gourds and finally pull the foliage from the garden. He had a busy day planned. I was going to enter a month of spending receipts and balance the checkbook. I also had to freeze apples, and clean the house before my daughter and I would leave for Minnesota to get our last load of personal things and close on the sale of our house. I reminded Roger the night before that I knew he would want my help the next day, but I would not be able to keep running out to help him if I was going to get my work done.
The day started out good. Roger went right to the garage and I started organizing my day inside. Within a half hour, I heard “Sue, I need you!” I didn’t say anything, I went to the garage and Roger said, “I know this isn’t what you wanted to be doing, but I really need your input on some things out here.”
At that point, I had to make a decision. I felt invaded and all kinds of thoughts were running through my mind. “What makes your work more important than mine?” “Roger, I don’t have time, you are putting pressure on me!” “Here we go again, you come first!” “I have so much to do and it’s not going to get done, AGAIN!” I answered his question and then I went inside.
As I began to prepare for everything I had to do, I thought…Roger has a Saturday off. He never gets a Saturday off. So, I do understand. There are so many things we probably should just donate to charity, toys to clean up for the grandchildren, and kitchen stuff to sort through. My heart began to change. I changed clothes, put on my shoes and went out and asked, “where do you want me to start?” I saw the frustration on Roger’s face dissipate, being replaced with relief.
We had a wonderful day together. We got the garage cleaned out, All the toys gone through washed up and put away in toy boxes and totes for the grandkids. We got the garden cleaned out with 20 pumpkins and a wheelbarrow filled with squash and gourds.
It was a beautiful fall day. We even did a little outdoor decorating for the season. Towards evening Roger offered to scrub my floors while I worked on the checkbook. I got my kitchen, dining room, and entry floors scrubbed. Hurray!!
About 8:00 pm, I walked out to the patio to share a couple polish sausages and a bag of chips with Rog. He had lit a candle and we sat underneath the stars and shared a simple intimate moment. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day, a day that could have been very different if I hadn’t listened to my husband’s heart and see that his needs were important. I made a choice, to esteem him as more important that day than my own needs.
Tags: Active Participation, Sue DeRaad, The Journey of Thomas
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Sunday, September 6th, 2009
Oh satisfy us in the morning with Thy loving-kindness, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. –Psalm 90:14
My soul thirsts for Thee, my flesh, yearns for thee… -Psalm 63:1b
My heart aches for this kind of relationship with my Heavenly Father! I have experienced this, I have taken Him in and know that it is good, but why does He feel distant today? What happened? How did I get here? How do I get back? Or maybe, how can I experience this for the very first time?
Do these questions sound familiar to you? I know I have asked all these questions and more.
The Journey of Thomas shows us that healthy relationships begin with my relationship with my Jesus! When I find that relationship distant, it’s always because I have lost an honest evaluation of my own life, my motives, my source of life, which is Jesus!
Who fills your cup? Who satisfies your soul? Most of us women, if we were honest would say—my husband, my children, my friends, or my job.
When my husband winks at me from across the room, or when he walks out of his way to open my car door, I feel honored. When he helps me with the children without me nagging at him, I feel respected. Maybe he brings home that something special (flowers, a piece of jewelry) for no apparent reason other than he is thinking of me, and I feel loved! One of our children comes running into the room, throws their arms around us and exclaims their love for us. Maybe a best friend calls and asks us for some advice or prayer. You pray for her and then before she hangs up she tells you how much this friendship means to her. All these are constant little deposits into our cup.
After being devastated by dishonesty in my marriage, feeling ripped apart with aloneness and despair, Jesus met me. He showed me in a unique way that He wanted to be my cup filler, that He could meet all my needs. But first, I had to face the reality of my condition. I had to get honest!
One night almost 5 years ago, in 2005, while Roger and I were separated, I laid in bed, feeling empty and alone, begging my heavenly Father not to ask me to stay married to this man; pleading for Him to release me of this covenant. I had every reason to leave, and I was ready to move forward. Then He whispered to me, Do you love him? I managed to breathe a yes as I struggled to swallow. Then can you be his friend? I heard within my heart.
I wasn’t expecting that. I was expecting a fight with the Father, demanding I take back my rightful place as a faithful, forgiving wife or else! My defenses slowly rested at my side. The reality was that He was even more alone than I was right now. He had little to no one walking by his side. He had burned his bridges and he was experiencing real aloneness! Even though I had no intentions of staying married to him, I did love him and wanted him to be healthy emotionally and spiritually. I wanted him to carry on in a healthy relationship with God and his family. I wanted to be part of his support system, even though I didn’t know what that might look like.
Who fills your cup? I expected my husband to.
When I was laying there that night feeling so empty, I was calling out to God, pouring out what was in my heart, as honest as I could be, letting him know that I needed an unconditional love that would last. I fell asleep and woke up a few minutes later with the words of Dennis Jernigan’s song playing on my stereo; I will love you with an everlasting love. It was a gift, straight from my Savior! He knew exactly what I needed and He was offering it to me.
I felt drawn to get out of my bed. As I put my foot on the floor beneath me, I was suddenly swept away being held up only by His strength. He continued as I wept, Let me be enough for you, and let me be your husband, for I will love you with an everlasting love! I danced that night in the arms of my Savior; He was enough! He filled my cup as I emptied myself out. He satisfied my soul! Could He have met my need without my pain and despair that brought such honesty? Yes, he could have, but he wanted me to come to Him in complete honesty and transparency!
Even though I am no longer in despair, I have recently begun practicing emptying myself out each morning. Ridding myself of “Self.” Any fears. Anything that I am hanging on to, craving, or anything I depend on to fill my cup. I need to confess my brokenness and pour myself out to make room for Him. He is able and willing and desirous to fill me completely with himself. So often there isn’t room for Him, because I am not in touch with my feelings or just not being honest with Him. When He fills me, I am complete, I am satisfied.
The blessings I receive from my husband, my children and my friends now are the overflow of the joy, peace and contentment He has already given me. Now, I don’t have to have an expectation within my relationships anymore because that only brings disappointment. The extra blessings I receive from those around me are the overflow!
May this kind of honesty and intimacy between you and your Savior, leave you complete in His fullness, blessed to overflowing and more than satisfied!
PDF Intimacy With God
Tags: honesty, Intimacy with God, Sue DeRaad, The Journey of Thomas
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Saturday, April 11th, 2009
Living From the Heart
by Sue DeRaad
Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life.” Prov. 4:23
Let’s get real Ladies! My husband was the problem, right? I held life together at home, that was true, but I was the one who swept the dust under doorstep. He let me see the buildup of perfectionism, isolation, and rage in his life behind closed doors. But when stepping out, he insisted that our doorstep be the cleanest in town. I did what I was told, so we always appeared very well put together.
It was all very confusing for me because we were always best friends. There was a love between us that was very noticeable and real. The two lives just didn’t fit. I was feeling unloved by my husband, fear of rejection and abandonment, inadequate as a wife, and shame if anyone were to ever see what was under the rug on the doorstep.
I was so busy building and maintaining a false image of my children and marriage that I didn’t know who I was. A Christian from age 10, I had always been faithful and sought after God with as much of my heart as I understood to do so. I had a strong conviction of right and wrong, so I was obedient and was looked up to as a “woman of faith” both as a single woman and later as a wife and mother. I was all those things, yet I lost sight of who I was created to be. I lost the dream or maybe never had one.
I saw God only as the Heavenly Father to be feared. Christ was my plum line. Yes, I spoke of my Christianity as a relationship, but I didn’t really understand that kind of intimacy and that God, through Jesus Christ really desired relationship with me. He wanted to know me. He wanted to share life with me. He wanted to walk with me and talk with me, just like in the garden. Wow!
Not only did I have to get to know who I was as a person, but even more so as a woman. God created woman to offer something to man. Something that he needed. Adam and God walked in the garden together, sharing many things that only God and Adam would ever share, but still something was incomplete for Adam. A woman-a feminine heart!
What does that mean for me? It gives me great value! A feminine heart is valuable not just in a marriage, but in life, offering the deepest side of my heart which is God given, God created, to the world. The world needs what my heart in Christ has to offer! The relational side of God’s image!
Are you ready to trust God with truly living from your heart honestly? Here is an exercise that may help you to explore your heart with honesty (and relate these to yourself, not your husband and/or children):
List 10 things that bring you joy personally
List two of your greatest passions /dreams.
List two of your greatest fears.
List five of your deepest emotions that you feel right now and attach them to something:
I feel _______about _____________because________________
It is very important to live out who you are and being willing to take the risk. Is it time for you to be willing? God wants to share life with all of us-and that includes you.
Click for printable PDF
Tags: Sue DeRaad, Sue DeRaad's Blog, Women
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Tuesday, March 10th, 2009
Come Walk with Me
by Sue DeRaad
“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Genesis 3:8-10Genesis 3:8-10
“Come walk with me.” Those life-filling words became the still small voice ushering in the hope that filled my heart as I read Genesis, understanding for the first time that relationship was offered to Adam and Eve even after the fall in the garden gave me hope. God, being fully aware of their sin, offered relationship to them. His heart and purpose for us from the beginning was His desire for relationship with us, knowing us and knowing us intimately! Adam and Eve, having sinned and also being very aware of their disobedience, hid! But there, in Genesis 3:8-10, God in His great love for his children called out, “Where are you?” He said this already knowing where they were.
I hid too after my affair, so ashamed, yet feeling entitled to what little happiness I could find. After all, my husband hadn’t pursued me for years. He was hiding as well, in the snare of his own addiction. I felt ashamed and abandoned, so I chose to hide in a life that looked perfect, where no one would find me. But God knew where I was all along; He never gave up on me. He kept calling me to join Him, but I was afraid to come out. I didn’t want him to see the fig leaves I had attached to myself.
I hid in the shell of a woman who lived the part well. The “Godly” wife, a wonderful mom, a supportive daughter, a sister of three, active in our church and I (we) never lacked for friends. Our children were popular and active in sports. I appeared to have it all. Don’t get me wrong, I never saw my identity as false…I lived it so well that even I didn’t know that it wasn’t real! Is that called “denial?”
As a woman, I have a unique need for relationship and I have tasted and know that true intimacy with God is good! It is my desire to speak love, forgiveness and hope for a healthy and fulfilling future to both women and couples. Please meet me at Grace Rivers and let’s learn together. Come walk with me into a journey of exploring who we really are. Let me extend a hand as God pulls us out together from that hiding place that feels so safe. Do you hear His voice? Don’t worry if you don’t-you will-because He is calling you to “Come walk with me, my precious daughter.”
This journey will require stepping into the light as He lifts you up. Let me hold your hand along the way. We’ll take new steps together as you make your way back to yourself and the relationship God so longs to share with you.
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Tags: Sue DeRaad, Women
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