My Husband, My Friend
Monday, March 15th, 2010
To Love and to Honor… My Husband, My Friend!
My husband is a man with a huge heart…a heart that feels deeply…a heart that brings healing to others by the way he offers love, compassion and courage to those who are especially down trodden, weak and weary. He is a Shepard, a gatherer of people. He provides shelter from the storm that is approaching and a shield when danger is near.
I honor him for who God has made him to be, how he offers love and protection to little ones. He would walk through the night to bring a lost child home. He honors, respects and guards their innocence. His arms are always open to children; they feel safe because they sense the openness of his heart as well. I remember while sitting next to my husband at sporting events, I sat alone…while he sat balancing the 4 or 5 children who were competing for a place on his lap. There was a time that I felt envious of that, but as I look back, I stand in awe of the gift God has given him to touch the hearts of children. Jesus in his teachings here on earth gave very special instructions concerning children. This man offers the example of Christ toward children. Children are drawn in. They feel loved, protected and cherished.
His love of nature has given me a perspective of God’s creation that has changed my life. I am able to see beauty that I have never noticed or seen before. In nature I meet with God in new ways that bring peace and harmony to my life. I see things through his eyes and it has lead me closer to God, for that I honor him.
The elderly feel important, loved and valued when Roger is close by. His heart is turned toward them, he hears their voice and they know it. So many of our older generation have lost their respect through sickness and health. But to him, they hold an honorable place in his heart because of their years… their wisdom and the journey of both accomplishments and maybe the pain they’ve walked through! He always has time for one of these lovely human beings who is in need. He genuinely cares for their well being. He is the hands and feet of Jesus to those who have gone before us.
To actually “Honor” another person is the highest form of love and respect within a relationship, but when there has been a breech of trust or severe hurt in a relationship, it may take longer to come to that place, it does not happen overnight. Through following the core values explained in The Journey of Thomas, I can honor my husband today, not because our relationship has been without duress, in fact, just the opposite. The first 20 years of our marriage were full of secrets, dishonesty and hurt. but today, there’s been honesty, forgiveness and healing. I now know and understand Roger’s heart. This allows me the privilege I have today of giving honor to my husband, my friend! The most amazing thing is, that I am able to do this with a pure heart!
Yes, our marriage was in despair and a lot of it had to do with Roger’s addiction and my lack of understanding concerning who I really was. Yet Roger’s decision to seek help leaving him separated from his wife and children for nearly 2 years, he was willing to give up his life to find it. His choices gave me the courage to trust again and walk through my own healing process. In that I see strength and courage, not weakness. For that – I honor him as the man I love…my friend…my husband!
“There is no greater love than to lay down your life…for a friend.”
Roger, you were willing to trod that painful yet amazing journey of discovering who God created you to be. In believing what He showed you, you found freedom not only for yourself, but you also lead the way for me and your family and others to do the same. I want to give Honor to you today, and encourage you to continue to walk in those shoes. Because from your sandals emerged a great and mighty warrior!
A year ago Roger and I moved to South Dakota to be near our children and grandchildren. He unselfishly took on a position as a farmhand, which is totally outside his comfort zone. In taking this position he has been forced to face a lifetime of fears, working very long hard hours and 6 days a week. He has come through his first year accomplishing more than either of us could have ever imagined. Gaining confidence in areas where he previously would never have even tried has made him a stronger man, more rugged and attractive to me! His unselfishness has made it possible for me to stay home to be a fulltime wife, mother and grandmother, to grow in my giftedness and to continue to explore the woman God created me to be.
In living without my income, we now live in one of the nicest most comfortable homes we’ve ever owned. It’s size allows us to have one of our children and her family stay with us while they find housing in this new community. Our new home lends itself to an atmosphere of family and friends. My kitchen is filled the aroma of “Mom is home.” My cupboards are overflowing from ceiling to floor. My freezers are full. My home is comfortable, not perfect. It lends itself to granddaughters coming by for a tea party and our grandson building a farm or hammering something he insists needs ‘fixin’.
The best part is, we are here to lend a hand and actively love both of our children and their families. We are enjoying the chance to nurture the little people in our lives. I have time now to run a meal or surprise snack to the field. Roger can pick me up and take me on a 4-wheeler ride to check the fields for weeds. Last night just as the sun was setting, he said, “Sue come on, grab the camera, let’s try to catch the sunset.” We built a memory!
Our lives are full…not necessarily easy, but rich and full of all the things that are important to us. All because this man, even though we didn’t agree, chose to wrestle with God and find peace in the midst of a very difficult decision. He chose to make a decision even though it was scary and uncertain in order to gather his family back together, to build and rebuild relationships for generations to come. All this because he chose to trust God with the unknown!
Do we always live out our newly found self, No! Do we always walk in the shoes that squeeze us and help us to grow…No! We often slip back into what’s comfortable but now we know that our new shoes are waiting for us at the foot of our beds. In them we find plenty of room to grow. I am not sure if they will ever become comfortable or that I even want them to. I don’t want to become complacent and comfortable. I want God to always push me through to the next level of my journey with Him.
Today is Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2010 and I lift you up Roger. I thank God for your courage and strength to lead me even when it’s been unpopular or even when I don’t want to be lead. You are a quiet leader, but you speak truth clearly when I need it. Thank you for allowing God to continue to grow you…Today, I honor who God has made you to be…may you continue to wrestle with Him.