Report on the Film in San Francisco
So much happened over my weekend in San Francisco I felt compelled to write a report so I wouldn’t forget some important details. I was surprised at how overwhelmingly wonderful the weekend was that my few words from my memory became seven pages of incredible stories of the abundance of God’s provision and grace.
I am only sharing in this post about the time I was at the theater for the premier of “This is What Love In Action Looks Like”. I will reveal more of the other stories at a later point.
Thursday, June 16th
Some good friends of mine held a prayer meeting for a weekend trip to San Francisco for the Frameline Film Festival. One of my personal requests was that I would not feel alone. I had contacted two people to meet with me while I was there but had only one confirmation for Saturday. I also asked to pray for our critics and enemies. In the New Testament, Jesus and others give us the exhortation to pray for our enemies so in this situation I felt it appropriate to follow that model.
Friday, June 17th
Sitting at the Memphis airport waiting to board my flight for Detroit, I received a phone call. It was from a new friend named Jeff who contacted me a year ago to talk with me about his story. He told me that he had just happened to go to his FaceBook account earlier that day and read my website blog. He scrolled down on the page and found out that I was coming to San Francisco where he lives.
Jeff asked if I might have some time to talk with him while I was there. I told him I had Friday evening and Sunday afternoon and evening open. He said he wanted to meet with me on Sunday afternoon so we put it down. I was hoping he would say Friday because I didn’t really want to just sit around after getting into San Francisco. A few minutes later, he called me back and asked if I wanted to have dinner with him on Friday. I was really glad he was open and began to relax about the weekend.
So I took the BART subway train from the airport to San Francisco. Out of the subway station I walked just one half a block and saw Hotel Mirabelle! How easy was that? I found the bed and breakfast type of hotel to be clean, comfortable, and practical. My room was the second floor left bay window. It was the cheapest hotel I could find in San Francisco! I had also booked the hotel because it was just one block from the theater where the film was going to be presented.
When Jeff called to give me directions to where he was going to meet me for dinner it was just a few blocks from my hotel. That was great! So, at dinner time I walked out of the hotel and found an easy and quite beautiful walk to meet him. I stood on the street for a little while and then he called and said he was waiting inside the restaurant.
Dinner With Jeff
I found Jeff to be very hospitable, kind, and interesting. Jeff began to tell me that he had been involved with Love In Action in the early 1980’s. Since I arrived at LiA in the mid 1980’s we found common ground in people we knew. So we shared our history and we related in our journey with homosexuality and Christ. After several hours and lots of easy conversation we said goodnight and I walked back to my hotel.
Breakfast with Morgan and His Friends
Morgan Fox, the creator of the film we were going to see on Saturday, had texted me with information about meeting Saturday morning for breakfast with him and his friends. So Saturday morning I got up and looked at the map to find that the restaurant was just a few blocks away as well. I was familiar with the location since I had walked by it the night before so again, felt quite comfortable with the plan. Morgan’s partner was along on the trip, so we met for the first time. I found him to be quiet but very pleasant.
I was feeling anxious as I sat there. I was in San Francisco at a LBGT film festival to see a screening of a film that focused on a critical view of the ministry I had been involved in for 22 years. I tried to come up with what was in my heart but found it hard to think and didn’t have any idea what to expect. So our conversation at breakfast was pleasant but distracted due to all of us being in thought about what was coming.
Mick at the Theater
I had arranged with another friend, named Mick, whom I had known from the early 1990’s to get together on Saturday afternoon. He contacted me and said he would be coming to the film. I was glad to see a familiar face when I arrived at the theater for sure.
As Mick and I sat down at the theater he began to ask me about my recent history regarding the protests at Love In Action as well as what has gone on since my departure from Love In Action in 2008. As I talked, I realized that God was preparing my heart for what I might say when Morgan and I gave our opening statements at the presentation. I was amazed that God had provided me with the opportunity to process my thoughts with Mick in preparation for the film.
Then I looked up and saw another familiar face. He had made a mad dash across town to be at the film. It was so good to see him. Earlier on Saturday morning I was chatting on FaceBook with Ryan who was in Love In action in the early 1990’s. Amazingly, my wife was chatting with Ryan at the same time! We arranged for breakfast on Sunday. I had contacted another friend, who knew Ryan as well, for a Sunday breakfast but it wasn’t confirmed as yet.
A Film Shown Before Ours
There was one film that was going to be shown prior to Morgan’s film so I was curious to see it. It was titled “All We Need is Love.” It was a film about an 11 year old girl who lived in a world where being gay was the norm. As she grew she realized she was heterosexual and began to discover how hard it was to be heterosexual in a gay world. As the film moved on she was teased, bullied, and beat up. Her parents didn’t seem to understand what she was going through and she felt alienated and unheard.
As this film was moving along I began to feel fearful and anxious. I thought, “oh, boy, why did they have to show this film right before our film. This will raise the defensive emotional level in this audience and I could get slaughtered when they show Morgan’s film.” His film focused on a youth who was experiencing the same internal conflicts that little girl felt and his parents took him to Love In Action when he didn’t want to go. I actually came to the realization that I could get accosted maybe even physically beat up here. I just prayed asking for God’s grace no matter what. I had to go through this and also had to trust Him in it.
So, when Morgan and I got up to give an opening statement, from my recollection, this is what I said.
“In 2005, a huge protest uprooted my life. My entire world was rocked and through this one event I began to evaluate my spiritual, emotional, moral and ethical positions. When Jesus came into our world He challenged the very core of our culture. This protest challenged me deeply. (At that point I had tears in my eyes and heart.) Then we sat down and the film began.
I listened to every word in the film intently. I paid special attention to my own words. There were excerpts from media interviews as well as some from interviews with Morgan. My reactions swung from embarrassment to confidence. I realized that this one film was taking me through a season of my life when Jesus did some of the deepest work in my own heart that has been done in my entire Christian walk.
Questions
As the film ended the crew from the first film, and the folks from Morgan’s crew, including myself, walked to the stage. The audience was then asked for questions. After a couple of logistical questions about where the films could be seen again and how they could get them for themselves, the audience turned to questions for me.
To be honest, I don’t actually remember the questions or much of what I said. Two people filmed the question time so I’ll be able to find that out at a later date what was said. All I remember is that several people spoke to the negative issues represented but affirmed my being there to stand with Morgan and to represent the changes in my heart relating to what God had done in me. It was all quite respectful and appropriate.
Personal Contacts
Afterwards, there was a line of people to speak to me and we had to move our discussion out to the street. Two people stood out to me. One was a lady who came to me in tears. “John, your honesty and your heart changes along with your apology have healed a deep wound in my heart.” She hugged me closely and said “thank you so much.” Than another man came up to me and talked with me vulnerably about how he had felt alienated from the church. He spoke of his family’s rejection and the losses he had experienced. My heart went out to him and I told him to contact me if he felt I could be of any encouragement for him.
Phew, no one beat me up. No one was rude. No one was angry with me. Our prayers for our critics had been answered. I am certain there must have been those in the audience that didn’t like me and were angry, but the Lord had kept them at bay and I am thankful.
If you want to read the full report on my weekend in San Francisco please go to the link below.
Click here
Other Articles on Homosexuality
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June 25th, 2011 at 9:30 am
John: What a courageous thing to do – and what a wonderful example to leave for the church. Blessings to you.
M
June 25th, 2011 at 9:42 am
Thanks for standing up for Jesus and not following the trend.
June 25th, 2011 at 10:57 am
Thank you for sharing your heart; I am so glad your prayers were answered. It is such a shame when we create an “us versus them” mentality with others. Many times, our “enemy” wants many of the same things WE want… to be heard, to be known, to be loved. We all want to connect. What an example Jesus provided for engaging others who are “different”!
June 25th, 2011 at 11:12 am
Thank you John, for sharing your heart once again. I know that it can be painful to interact with people who were harmed by a ministry that meant only to help! Painful, but healing. I continue to pray for your journey, as I do my own!
June 25th, 2011 at 11:19 am
John, I guess if I had not been so busy at work, and pre-occupied with Lisa, Jeff, and their girls moving in with us, I would have volunteered to go with you to San Fran. !! At least we could have stayed in a Hilton Hotel! (and you would have had a friend to share this experience with!!) I would have loved to see the documentary, and Linda and I would still love to see it!! Will you get a copy of it, or will it be showing here in Memphis? We’re glad you had a safe trip! May God continue to bless you and Vileen!! Dan
June 25th, 2011 at 4:06 pm
John,
I was praying for your trip, and I’m so glad to hear how well this went!
Gavin
June 27th, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Wonderful! Is the film coming to Memphis? If so, Christians who support GraceRivers should attend.
June 27th, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Susan,
It is my understanding that the film will be shown in the Memphis Indie Film Festival in November.
John
June 29th, 2011 at 12:50 pm
John,
As I prayed for your trip to San Francisco, I asked the Lord to bless you with a peace. I also asked him to keep you from feeling lonely and alienated…..I love it when HE delivers so abundantly!
Thanks for the update!
Peggi