Pride Message – 2019

Pride Message – 2019

JohnSmidPensiveB&W#1June 6th, D’Day, 14 years ago (2005), was a life changer for me. I was the Executive Director for Love In Action, an ExGay ministry. I worked there for 18 years (1987).

protestAt 8:30 on a Monday morning, a large crew of protestors showed up at our, new to us, campus. Bull horn’s screeching “JOHN SMID! John Smid! we know you’re there!” For many weeks, the protests continued. There were 24 news programs focusing on me, and the protest, over a two-week period.

The group was saying that our program and ExGay ministry was harmful. I was incensed! I was put out; angry, and believed they were causing us harm through their efforts that went internationally viral on the Internet! I received slanderous threats, emails, and even official government assessments saying that they were going to lock our doors.

morganThat protest, led by Morgan Fox, was chronicled in the documentary film, “This is What Love In Action Looks Like.

Their efforts created huge drama, caused eventual staff splits in our ministry, and brought about such havoc that I began to evaluate my position with the ministry. By 2008 I was burned out and decided to resign from my position, leaving the ministry in the hands of the board and a temporary director. After a few short years, the ministry almost closed and is now changed to a new name and run by a one man counseling office primarily focused on sex addiction clients.

Do protests work! This one did! Thanks to the deep level of integrity of Morgan Fox followed by regular private meetings with him, my life was changed! After leaving the ministry I began to think back over those 22 years to realize that our ministry was a tremendous failure.

No one ever changed from gay to straight. Some found freedom from destructive habits. But we were not advertising that we helped people to find freedom from destructive habits, we said we offered “Freedom from Homosexuality through Jesus Christ!”

No one found freedom from homosexuality. Actually, most found even deeper bondage to shame resulting from a double life, hiding their homosexuality even more out of fear that God would reject them if they embraced it. Some even committed suicide out of their deep despair and others attempted suicide. Most went through deep and dark times in their attempt to reconcile their inner turmoil created largely by the false message, “If you love God, you’ll allow God to change you.”

John-Smid rainbowDuring this Pride month, I want so say loudly, “I’VE CHANGED!” I’ve changed from hidden to open, from falsehood to truth, from closeted to free and open. I’ve changed from being a deceiver to a truth teller.

You can read a chronicle of many of the changes that occurred during that time in my book, (Click here) Ex’D Out, How I Fired the Shame Committee.

Here is an interview done by The Dallas Morning News 2019.

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4 Responses to “Pride Message – 2019”

  1. jerome "Jerry" reiter says:

    John, thanks for sharing this powerful message this Pride month. You will help people around the world.

  2. Darlene bogle says:

    Once again, John I am thrilled that you are able to live your truth and declare it boldly!

  3. John Smid says:

    Thank you, Darlene!

  4. John Smid says:

    Thank you Jerry, great to hear from you here.

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