Response to the Gay/Ex-gay Divide

Response to the Gay/Ex-gay Divide

handshakeI received this email from Europe from someone who had read a recent article on my blog called “The Gay /Ex-gay Divide.

In my ongoing discovery of the incredible freedom that we are provided in Christ this man’s story exemplifies changes in his life that have occurred.

He has received a loving relationship with Jesus as his church has accepted him right where he is with no agenda.

I appreciate most, the journey without an expected timeline of growth. This man is following the Lord’s leading in his life. The message here is that God will do His work, in His time, and in His way.

God’s work in any of our lives cannot be duplicated and sold off for someone else to follow. It is unique to who we are and where we are in life’s journey. For Robert, he clearly describes some of his journey below.

Hello John,

Thank you for writing the article on your website blog about the battle between the gay and ex-gay community!

I believe the church has missed a lot of chances to reach out to the gay community. Although I am on the “side” of literal interpretation of the scripture . I can still get angry about the judgmental and in my opinion totally stupid attitude of a lot of fundamental “straight” Christians who do not know WHAT it is like when one is dealing with same sex attraction. I get a lot of support in my church, fortunately.

When I dedicated my life to Christ about a year ago, after about 20 years of hedonistic plunging into everything gay. I told the pastor everything about me and my life and I did not hold back. Sometimes I told him to brace himself for what he would hear from me. But I needed to do this in order to have no secrets or secret places in my heart anymore. I learned that secrets can grow and take hold of one’s life after growing .

Now from my pastor and other people in church, there was no judgment at all…nothing….. When I recall the conversations with him I can only recall a listening ear and understanding…and then a hand on my shoulder during prayer. I was welcomed into his house his family. I had dinners at his place together with the partner I had at that time, because they wanted to welcome my partner too.

I knew If God would change my life…my partner had a right to know God as well. My conviction that homosexuality is a sin actually came from what I read in scripture and from the gentle voice inside of me from the Holy Spirit . My church friends never pressed me into anything.

This was such a relief for me, to be welcomed and accepted in the midst of this Christian community. Just people showing me Jesus through their lives, and their attitude. That love …..that unconditional love ….. broke me….. it tore down the walls around my heart ….. it is the most forceful power.

God has worked miracles in the past year. Although what I feel is the “thorn in my flesh” comes up now and then, and sometimes a lot, but I feel so free. I experience God so close, God speaks to me . God’s spirit shows me inner wounds that He wants to heal and take care of. Sometimes stuff I did not even know it was there. Sometimes walking alone in the woods or driving the car the Holy Spirit has His private pastoral sessions with me :-) ) showing me all these things. I feel so privileged. Sometimes it’s like being in a desert. then it seems I am all alone. But then I hold on. I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to let go of this God.

I am still officially in a relationship with my partner. But the physical stuff between us has stopped. We are now good friends. We have been together for 14 years. Slowly and gently God is leading us into separate ways. We are not there yet. But I am so thankful for God’s grace in this.

A New Friend


Share and Enjoy:
  • Print this article!
  • Turn this article into a PDF!
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace
  • Google Bookmarks


One Response to “Response to the Gay/Ex-gay Divide”

  1. Nel says:

    I think not everyone is ready to submit their sex lives to God, whether or not we’re straight or bi or gay for e.g. As a straight single sexually healthy woman, I also have to continuously submit in that area. :D But I have to wholly depend on Him, and not go out to invite male appreciative attention.

Leave a Reply