Comments on: A Letter of Apology http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/ Just another WordPress weblog Sun, 05 May 2013 12:23:28 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Loving Haters « LOVEboldly http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-31638 Loving Haters « LOVEboldly Sat, 16 Jun 2012 18:31:33 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-31638 [...] was, in fact, still gay, though he remains committed to his marriage and family.  John issued a public apology to the many teens and families that the programs at Love In Action had injured over the years, and [...] [...] was, in fact, still gay, though he remains committed to his marriage and family.  John issued a public apology to the many teens and families that the programs at Love In Action had injured over the years, and [...]

]]> By: Craig Chambers http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-31495 Craig Chambers Tue, 29 May 2012 23:54:38 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-31495 Back in 1986, my very first visit to a new church (after my recent move to Omaha) brought me face-to-face with a charming, charismatic John Smid. I both adored and feared him, a man of enormous energy, spiritual insight, and social intuition. Within a couple weeks he put me to work greeting newcomers. A stranger in a big town, I immediately felt reassured that “somebody” cared. That was John Smid, and I’ll never forget his acts of kindness and generosity toward me. It was a very sad day when John announced he would be leaving to work at LIA. We needed and loved you, John, and still do. Craig Chambers Back in 1986, my very first visit to a new church (after my recent move to Omaha) brought me face-to-face with a charming, charismatic John Smid. I both adored and feared him, a man of enormous energy, spiritual insight, and social intuition. Within a couple weeks he put me to work greeting newcomers. A stranger in a big town, I immediately felt reassured that “somebody” cared. That was John Smid, and I’ll never forget his acts of kindness and generosity toward me. It was a very sad day when John announced he would be leaving to work at LIA. We needed and loved you, John, and still do. Craig Chambers

]]> By: Lloyd Peacock http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-29697 Lloyd Peacock Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:30:41 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-29697 Dear John, I know that it took courage to write the above letter. I would like you to watch the video of our friend Frank Shears, which was produced a few weeks before he died. He spent 10 years in a ministry similar to "Love in Action," and finally realized the damage he caused to young lives. These change ministries are of no help to anyone, and only confuse vulnerable minds. They should be all shut down immediately. http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=473057360019 Dear John, I know that it took courage to write the above letter. I would like you to watch the video of our friend Frank Shears, which was produced a few weeks before he died. He spent 10 years in a ministry similar to “Love in Action,” and finally realized the damage he caused to young lives. These change ministries are of no help to anyone, and only confuse vulnerable minds. They should be all shut down immediately.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=473057360019

]]> By: Tony http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-29481 Tony Wed, 14 Sep 2011 19:04:27 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-29481 Actions speak louder than any words, John, actions. Actions speak louder than any words, John, actions.

]]> By: David G. http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-29321 David G. Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:13:58 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-29321 Hi John, I was never impacted by the work of LiA, and I am not in the habit of posting to blogs. But I find myself curiously drawn in by your story. I am reminded that in the late 70s, as a college student counseling teens at a Christian camp, I led devotions out of Romans 1 and warned the boys in my care of the horrors of homosexuality. I was and am homosexual. In my hatred of my own sexuality, I hurt one of those boys so deeply by my words that he tried repeatedly to throw himself out a second story window. I had no concept at the time how much harm I did to him. I justified myself thinking I had only presented him with biblical truth. I've heard it said that "Love your neighbor as yourself" is not only a command, it is a truism. We will love our neighbor as we love ourselves. If we hate who we are, sooner or later we will act hatefully toward those we intend to love. John, I hope in your soul-searching you have considered that the harm you admittedly caused others may have something to do with the way you have treated yourself. I gather that the program you ran included elements of coersion. Are you coercing yourself? Like some others who have responded, I suspect you are only partway through a major upheaval in your way of seeing God, yourself and others. I know from experience that being in ministry puts us in a kind of straight-jacket of expectations that makes changing our perspectives very difficult. Is it yet time for you to engage in ministry again? I do not really know you, but for what it's worth I wonder, are you rushing things a bit? Obviously I am projecting my own story onto yours. So my questions are first for myself. I am beginning to gain a new equalibrium after ending my heterosexual marriage and falling in love with a beautiful man. I came to the realization I could never adore my wife the way a husband ought. I could not give my whole self to her. I have wrestled through many questions about my faith, since my relationship with God has remained the most important thing in my life. I have come to understand that for me, a gay man, the love of God cannot be fully mediated through a heterosexual marriage. The love of my wife simply did not reach me in the places where I so longed to be touched and held. For me, it is the embrace of a man that mirrors the embrace of God. My partner is the only man with whom I have been intimate -- likewise for him. Our partnership is a means of grace for both of us. How can a relationship that mediates so much grace not be considered blessed? Are you sure, John, that the bread you have to offer others is really ready to be served? David G. Hi John,

I was never impacted by the work of LiA, and I am not in the habit of posting to blogs. But I find myself curiously drawn in by your story. I am reminded that in the late 70s, as a college student counseling teens at a Christian camp, I led devotions out of Romans 1 and warned the boys in my care of the horrors of homosexuality. I was and am homosexual. In my hatred of my own sexuality, I hurt one of those boys so deeply by my words that he tried repeatedly to throw himself out a second story window. I had no concept at the time how much harm I did to him. I justified myself thinking I had only presented him with biblical truth.

I’ve heard it said that “Love your neighbor as yourself” is not only a command, it is a truism. We will love our neighbor as we love ourselves. If we hate who we are, sooner or later we will act hatefully toward those we intend to love. John, I hope in your soul-searching you have considered that the harm you admittedly caused others may have something to do with the way you have treated yourself. I gather that the program you ran included elements of coersion. Are you coercing yourself?

Like some others who have responded, I suspect you are only partway through a major upheaval in your way of seeing God, yourself and others. I know from experience that being in ministry puts us in a kind of straight-jacket of expectations that makes changing our perspectives very difficult. Is it yet time for you to engage in ministry again? I do not really know you, but for what it’s worth I wonder, are you rushing things a bit?

Obviously I am projecting my own story onto yours. So my questions are first for myself. I am beginning to gain a new equalibrium after ending my heterosexual marriage and falling in love with a beautiful man. I came to the realization I could never adore my wife the way a husband ought. I could not give my whole self to her. I have wrestled through many questions about my faith, since my relationship with God has remained the most important thing in my life. I have come to understand that for me, a gay man, the love of God cannot be fully mediated through a heterosexual marriage. The love of my wife simply did not reach me in the places where I so longed to be touched and held. For me, it is the embrace of a man that mirrors the embrace of God. My partner is the only man with whom I have been intimate — likewise for him. Our partnership is a means of grace for both of us. How can a relationship that mediates so much grace not be considered blessed?

Are you sure, John, that the bread you have to offer others is really ready to be served?

David G.

]]> By: Butch Key http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-29315 Butch Key Tue, 09 Aug 2011 07:19:11 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-29315 I just want to say thank you to John, I was in the program at LIA back in 2002 ... granted I didn't agree with all that was going on... but I agree I didnt want to be this way... and still dont to this day... I have came to an understanding with myself that I will always be attracted to men but I do not have to act upon it... and if I do .. its not the end of the world. I think John Smid has a wonderful heart... I forgive him for the wrongdoings he feels he has done but why are people judging him... John is a work in progress just as we ALL are... at least he is apologizing and he understands more in a Godly light as I know he is proud of... I still hold those 6 months in LIA dear to me... I may not be the person I truly want to be but I will not speak negative of my experience... I am thankful he has such an open heart now to the light of what God is showing him... we all should be more open... forgiveness is what God calls us to do... so John I forgive you and I pray for you that God will continue giving you an even more open heart to draw you closer to him... Thank you for sharing your heart... Hopefully we will cross paths again some day!!! God bless you!!! Butch Key I just want to say thank you to John, I was in the program at LIA back in 2002 … granted I didn’t agree with all that was going on… but I agree I didnt want to be this way… and still dont to this day… I have came to an understanding with myself that I will always be attracted to men but I do not have to act upon it… and if I do .. its not the end of the world.

I think John Smid has a wonderful heart… I forgive him for the wrongdoings he feels he has done but why are people judging him… John is a work in progress just as we ALL are… at least he is apologizing and he understands more in a Godly light as I know he is proud of… I still hold those 6 months in LIA dear to me… I may not be the person I truly want to be but I will not speak negative of my experience… I am thankful he has such an open heart now to the light of what God is showing him… we all should be more open… forgiveness is what God calls us to do… so John I forgive you and I pray for you that God will continue giving you an even more open heart to draw you closer to him… Thank you for sharing your heart… Hopefully we will cross paths again some day!!! God bless you!!!

Butch Key

]]> By: Ryan http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-29314 Ryan Tue, 09 Aug 2011 03:15:26 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-29314 I would not be the man I am today without Love in Action and the ministry of Christ through John Smid. Thank you, John. I would not be the man I am today without Love in Action and the ministry of Christ through John Smid. Thank you, John.

]]> By: Reed Boyer http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-22608 Reed Boyer Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:44:01 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-22608 I share Trystan and Douglas's feelings on this. March 4th, 2010 this letter was written. After 22 years of your "ministry." About YOU - and your ministry, and yourself, and your feelings. Well, *I* (your favorite word) am less than impressed. Because, thanks to your efforts of 22 years, in the year following this "apology', we lost 23 young people. And now (June 2011) you will be making a public appearance. I truly hope that you'll be speaking up in TN - because your state's "Don't Say Gay" views are a partial reflection of your "ministry's" years of making "the loved sinner" feel utterly despised - and your appearance in conjunction with a documentary doesn't begin to mitigate the enormous damage you've done. Get into action. Deeds. Not words - for the love of God, especially not words. Not more words. Not from you. • Aiden Rivera Schaeff (17) April 22, 2010. Ontario "committed suicide" • Dominic Crouch (15) May 18, 2010. Cheltenham, UK jumped to his death from a six-story building • Billy Lucas (15) September 9, 2010. Indiana hanged himself in his family's barn • Cody J. Barker (17) September 13, 2010. Wisconsin "took his life" • Tyler Clementi (18) September 22, 2010. New Jersey committed suicide by jumping off of the George Washington Bridge •• Justin (Chloe) Lacey (18) September 24, 2010. California shot herself ••• Harrison Chase Brown (15) September, 25 2010. Colorado "took his life" • Asher Brown (13) September 27, 2010. Texas shot himself with his fathers gun in his home • Seth Walsh (13) hanged himself from a tree in his backyard Sept 19; Seth did not die immediately, was discovered and taken to a hospital where he was placed on life support in critical care, dying 9 days later. •• Jeanine Blanchette (21): September 28, 2010. Orangeville pills •• Chantal Dube (17): September 28, 2010. Ontario pills • Raymond Chase (19) September 29, 2010. Rhode Island hanged himself in his dorm room • Felix Sacco (17) September 29, 2010. Massachusetts "apparently jumped" from an overpass into traffic ••• Caleb Nolt (14) September 30, 2010. Indiana killed himself • Zach Harrington (19) October 5, 2010. Oklahoma "committed suicide at his parents house" • Aiyisha Hassan (19) October 5, 2010. California "committed suicide at her home" • Terrel Williams (17) October 13th, 2010. Washington. hanged himself in his bedroom closet hours after an attack at his school by five other students • Corey Jackson (19) October 19, 2010. Michigan. hanged himself • Brandon Bitner (14) November 5, 2010. Pennsylvania jumped in front of a tractor-trailer, after leaving a suicide note, and walking nearly 13 miles from his home • Lance Lundsten (18) January 15, 2011. Minnesota ""mixed drug ingestion" His estranged father initially denied Lance was gay and declared he'd had "an enlarged heart." The coroner's finding was " . . . suicide was the manner of death." ••• Kameron Jacobsen (14) January 18, 2011. New York "took his own life" •••Nicholas Kelo, Jr. (13) Feb. 23, 2011. Ohio "self-inflicted gunshot" Nine of his organs were collected and donated •• Adam Wood (19) March 21, 2011. California climbed to the top of a 75-foot electrical tower and used a rope to hang himself I share Trystan and Douglas’s feelings on this.

March 4th, 2010 this letter was written. After 22 years of your “ministry.” About YOU – and your ministry, and yourself, and your feelings.

Well, *I* (your favorite word) am less than impressed. Because, thanks to your efforts of 22 years, in the year following this “apology’, we lost 23 young people.

And now (June 2011) you will be making a public appearance. I truly hope that you’ll be speaking up in TN – because your state’s “Don’t Say Gay” views are a partial reflection of your “ministry’s” years of making “the loved sinner” feel utterly despised – and your appearance in conjunction with a documentary doesn’t begin to mitigate the enormous damage you’ve done. Get into action. Deeds. Not words – for the love of God, especially not words. Not more words. Not from you.

• Aiden Rivera Schaeff (17) April 22, 2010. Ontario
“committed suicide”

• Dominic Crouch (15) May 18, 2010. Cheltenham, UK
jumped to his death from a six-story building

• Billy Lucas (15) September 9, 2010. Indiana
hanged himself in his family’s barn

• Cody J. Barker (17) September 13, 2010. Wisconsin
“took his life”

• Tyler Clementi (18) September 22, 2010. New Jersey
committed suicide by jumping off of the George Washington Bridge

•• Justin (Chloe) Lacey (18) September 24, 2010. California
shot herself

••• Harrison Chase Brown (15) September, 25 2010. Colorado
“took his life”

• Asher Brown (13) September 27, 2010. Texas
shot himself with his fathers gun in his home

• Seth Walsh (13)
hanged himself from a tree in his backyard Sept 19; Seth did not die immediately, was discovered and taken to a hospital where he was placed on life support in critical care, dying 9 days later.

•• Jeanine Blanchette (21): September 28, 2010. Orangeville
pills

•• Chantal Dube (17): September 28, 2010. Ontario
pills

• Raymond Chase (19) September 29, 2010. Rhode Island
hanged himself in his dorm room

• Felix Sacco (17) September 29, 2010. Massachusetts
“apparently jumped” from an overpass into traffic

••• Caleb Nolt (14) September 30, 2010. Indiana
killed himself

• Zach Harrington (19) October 5, 2010. Oklahoma
“committed suicide at his parents house”

• Aiyisha Hassan (19) October 5, 2010. California
“committed suicide at her home”

• Terrel Williams (17) October 13th, 2010. Washington.
hanged himself in his bedroom closet hours after an attack at his school by five other students

• Corey Jackson (19) October 19, 2010. Michigan.
hanged himself

• Brandon Bitner (14) November 5, 2010. Pennsylvania
jumped in front of a tractor-trailer, after leaving a suicide note, and walking nearly 13 miles from his home

• Lance Lundsten (18) January 15, 2011. Minnesota
“”mixed drug ingestion” His estranged father initially denied Lance was gay and declared he’d had “an enlarged heart.” The coroner’s finding was ” . . . suicide was the manner of death.”

••• Kameron Jacobsen (14) January 18, 2011. New York
“took his own life”

•••Nicholas Kelo, Jr. (13) Feb. 23, 2011. Ohio
“self-inflicted gunshot” Nine of his organs were collected and donated

•• Adam Wood (19) March 21, 2011. California
climbed to the top of a 75-foot electrical tower and used a rope to hang himself

]]> By: Douglas Jantz http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-13390 Douglas Jantz Mon, 14 Feb 2011 06:59:22 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-13390 I am very happy being gay, It feel good to be honest with my self. I am not living the lie. God has bless me in many ways. I feel sorry for the people I am still in contact with from Love in action, who claim to be christian,( But still living the lie ) When I was in trouble,Who was there for me . My none Christian friends. You as my christian leader, was nothing but a joke.( Think God for my none christian friends), I feel sorry for you and your lies. Be real, The one thing going for you was your wife. What a wonderful lady. I feel sorry for her. I am trying to let my bitterness toward you go. Because I don't want any part of you controlling my life. Get Real John Smid Douglas Jantz, The one you could not give a shit about. Love in action 1988 I am very happy being gay, It feel good to be honest with my self. I am not living the lie. God has bless me in many ways. I feel sorry for the people I am still in contact with from Love in action, who claim to be christian,( But still living the lie ) When I was in trouble,Who was there for me . My none Christian friends. You as my christian leader, was nothing but a joke.( Think God for my none christian friends), I feel sorry for you and your lies. Be real, The one thing going for you was your wife. What a wonderful lady. I feel sorry for her. I am trying to let my bitterness toward you go. Because I don’t want any part of you controlling my life.

Get Real John Smid

Douglas Jantz, The one you could not give a shit about.

Love in action 1988

]]> By: Coleen Lasko http://www.gracerivers.com/apology/comment-page-1/#comment-3487 Coleen Lasko Sat, 15 May 2010 17:32:08 +0000 http://www.gracerivers.com/?p=1437#comment-3487 A few decades ago, if you were acknowledge alcohol addiction you’d be most liable to be greeted with tongues clucking. Although the stain is yet attached, it’s great that facilities and support groups are accessible and individuals are a lot more understanding with substance abuse right now. A few decades ago, if you were acknowledge alcohol addiction you’d be most liable to be greeted with tongues clucking. Although the stain is yet attached, it’s great that facilities and support groups are accessible and individuals are a lot more understanding with substance abuse right now.

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