ebookEx’d Out Is Now Available!

(Click Here to Order Your Copy)

Through the pages of this amazing new resource, you will find not only vulnerable and extensive personal process, but also a serious apology unlike any that has been written before by anyone who was in leadership within the culture of what has been known as “Ex-gay” ministry.

John will also share with you the dramatic transition he has gone through that has brought waves of questions and shock to those involved in the communities he served for over two decades.

The Stories of Ex’d Out

How did Ex’d Out come into being, and what is the first response to someone reading it?

John Smid’s Life Story

JohnSmidReflectiveShotB&WFantasyBackgroundJohn Smid has written several biographical stories to show you some of the things that have led him to an exciting and fulfilling walk with Jesus Christ.  Please take a look. Each one gives a different perspective on his life experiences.


A selection of John’s life that is an example of how a few people influenced him with a “living” gospel of honesty and unconditional love.

The story of John Smid coming to salvation through his experience with many people sharing their life with him. A Journey of Grace testimony.

by John Smid

My Journey-2014_Testimony

by John Smid

Learn how God’s grace in John Smid’s life became the foundation for Grace Rivers. This is a more comprehensive version of John’s story.

windshieldThrough the Windshield of My Life

An honest and detailed account of John’s full biography that is framed on John’s connection with automobiles over the years.  You will find many things you can personally relate to.  John has written some very vulnerable things about his life that will touch yours deeply.

Articles and Testimonies

bright_blueRiverReflections on our Website Pictures

When Grace Rivers was formed, John selected 16 pictures to place on our website home page. These pictures seemed to capture the heart and soul of the ministry of Grace Rivers.  John has written articles that further search out his heart for what He believes God is doing through Grace Rivers into the real lives of real people.

Articles on the Christian Life

Javob vs Esau

Jacob Wrestles with God, and Himself

Facing our own self will may come as a result of some battles with God. Read the story of Jacob facing Esau to find out how God may reveal His abundant grace to us in a way that may surprise us.


I Have Failed

With the Holy Spirit we will never fail!  Reading this article will challenge you and yet it will bring you more freedom than you can imagine.


I Don’t Trust You

After walking through a very painful disappointment with a friend, I learned that the concept of trusting others was very different than I had previously thought.

sandy heartMy Own Changed Heart

Well, I have found myself in some really strange places. I have entered the world with weak knees, curiosity, and timidity. I didn’t feel prepared for this! I was uncomfortable in the world. It was too strange for me. I wanted to be comfortable, safe, and this wasn’t a safe place.  How did God get me to look outside the walls of my local church to see the missing people?

Celebration of Easter

PassoverLambThe Passover Seder

For over twenty years John Smid has practiced the celebration of the Passover Seder.  This is the where Jesus was betrayed on the night before his crucifixion.  At the core of our Christian faith is a spiritual event that many of us have not known about before.

threecrossesWhat’s So Good About Friday?

John Smid’s reflection on Good Friday. How interesting that we call this Friday “Good Friday” when the most heinous act in our human history severely abused and killed an innocent man by hanging him on the cross.

jesus-wept-largeThe Ache Inside Me – Easter Sunday Reflection

The death of their special family Poodle on Easter Sunday brings special meaning and application of the real meaning of Easter for John and Vileen Smid.  Their story of painful loss and the reflection on redemption through the resurrection will touch your heart deeply.

church crowd

Are you going to church on Easter?

As some of us think about Easter Sunday, I wonder if we are asking Jesus some questions about our own lives and what this celebration is all about? Christ has risen, He has risen indeed.

General Interest

Feelings: Should we live by them?

by John Smid

Feelings are the guidepost to our healing and maturing process as well as a God given design for protecting us from relational harm.

A Tribute To My Dad_2010

by John Smid

A story of a father dealing with a challenging situation in his son’s life.  A model of how a father can implement God’s grace for his son to follow.

Grace Rivers Newsletter Archives

November_2009 – One Year Anniversary

January_2010 – Finishing 2009 Well

March_2010 -  Reaching Out

May_2010 – Missing Person’s Report

July 2010 – “Feeling Stuck?”

October-2010 – “Celebrate! God is at work! (Can my gay friend be a Christian?)

December-2-2010 – Second ministry Year Review

January 2011 – Real People, Real Lives

Suggested Books on Homosexuality and Faith

The Children Are Free by Miner an Connoley

Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-Sex Relationships

And You Invited Me In by Cheryl Moss Tyler

A novel about two families facing homosexuality and AIDS that will deeply impact your thinking.

The Velvet Rage by Alan Downs, PH.D.

Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World

A Time To Embrace by William Stacy Johnson

Same-sex Relationships in Religion, Law, and Politics

Torn by Justin Lee

Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays -Vs. – Christians Debate

Jesus, The Bible, and Homosexuality by Jack Rogers

Explode the Myths, Heal the Church.

Bible – Gender – Sexuality by James V. Brownson

Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships

Stranger At the Gate by Mel White

To be gay and Christian in America

God and the Gay Christian by Matthew Vines

“God and the Gay Christian is a game changer. Winsome, accessible, and carefully researched, every page is brought to life by the author’s clear love for Scripture and deep, persistent faith.”

Ministry Links

At Grace Rivers we believe that each of us has not only the liberty, but the responsibility, to make our own decisions about how we will live our  life.  In the spirit of Christian liberty, we have given some resources below that may be helpful in research and support for some very personal struggles.

These links may provide additional helps in your personal journey.  Grace Rivers is not responsible for the content of other websites.

The Evangelical Network

A group of Bible believing churches, ministries, Christian workers and individuals bound together by a common shared faith, united in purpose and witness and established as a positive resource and support for Christian gays and lesbians.

Q Christian Fellowship

We are a diverse community with varied backgrounds, cultures, theologies and denominations, drawn together through our love of Christ and our belief that every LGBTQ+ person, indeed, every person is a beloved child of God.

MISSION: Q Christian Fellowship cultivates radical belonging among LGBTQ+ people and allies through a commitment to growth, community, and relational justice.

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