A Hard Day and An Intimate Moment – Sue DeRaad
Active Participation
Am I willing to put aside my own agenda to in order to listen to someone else’s heart?
Phil. 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Wow, I thought as I sat looking up at the stars. It was amazing! The stars had taken over the entire universe. The Big Sky, which is normally referred to as being in Montana, had escaped to the Dakotas. My mind was lost for a moment, until I heard the Roger sigh. We were lost together sitting outside on our little patio with only the dim flame of a candle between us, the perfect end to a very hard day.
Roger and I both started out with our agenda’s. He was going to spend the day cleaning out the rest of the “junk” from our move. Then he wanted to dig the potatoes, bring in the pumpkins, squash, and gourds and finally pull the foliage from the garden. He had a busy day planned. I was going to enter a month of spending receipts and balance the checkbook. I also had to freeze apples, and clean the house before my daughter and I would leave for Minnesota to get our last load of personal things and close on the sale of our house. I reminded Roger the night before that I knew he would want my help the next day, but I would not be able to keep running out to help him if I was going to get my work done.
The day started out good. Roger went right to the garage and I started organizing my day inside. Within a half hour, I heard “Sue, I need you!” I didn’t say anything, I went to the garage and Roger said, “I know this isn’t what you wanted to be doing, but I really need your input on some things out here.”
At that point, I had to make a decision. I felt invaded and all kinds of thoughts were running through my mind. “What makes your work more important than mine?” “Roger, I don’t have time, you are putting pressure on me!” “Here we go again, you come first!” “I have so much to do and it’s not going to get done, AGAIN!” I answered his question and then I went inside.
As I began to prepare for everything I had to do, I thought…Roger has a Saturday off. He never gets a Saturday off. So, I do understand. There are so many things we probably should just donate to charity, toys to clean up for the grandchildren, and kitchen stuff to sort through. My heart began to change. I changed clothes, put on my shoes and went out and asked, “where do you want me to start?” I saw the frustration on Roger’s face dissipate, being replaced with relief.
We had a wonderful day together. We got the garage cleaned out, All the toys gone through washed up and put away in toy boxes and totes for the grandkids. We got the garden cleaned out with 20 pumpkins and a wheelbarrow filled with squash and gourds.
It was a beautiful fall day. We even did a little outdoor decorating for the season. Towards evening Roger offered to scrub my floors while I worked on the checkbook. I got my kitchen, dining room, and entry floors scrubbed. Hurray!!
About 8:00 pm, I walked out to the patio to share a couple polish sausages and a bag of chips with Rog. He had lit a candle and we sat underneath the stars and shared a simple intimate moment. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day, a day that could have been very different if I hadn’t listened to my husband’s heart and see that his needs were important. I made a choice, to esteem him as more important that day than my own needs.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:21 am
Thanks for sharing that story about listening Sue. I need to do more of that. It’s those times of listening that we learn most isn’t it? I appreciate the reminder.