How interesting. I am so glad you shared your perspective. I am always interested in what people think and how they process life.

You are right. In the eighties and prior, men and women who were gay always felt they had to hide in order to experience their lives with others who understood or related to being gay.

Most gay bars were in very seedy places, dark alley doors and the like. This did nothing but promote the degradation that many felt that were gay.

The bars and discos I went to, had no names on the outside to in any way bring attention to them. They had hidden doors that just blended into the dark and often vacant buildings around them.

The other way men met each other was through booklets produced that could be purchased at adult book stores. These booklets would highlight certain locations where men could meet for anonymous sexual encounters. It was like some of the internet sites today. All of this leading men and women into destructive behaviors out of loneliness and a desperate need to connect with others who could understand.

I find your perspective very interesting on men coming out at an older age and reverting back to an adolescent emotional age in their behavior and relationship experiences.

Of course, I wasn’t old when all of this took place. I was still a young middle twenties guy. Due to my youthful age I fit into the bar scene quite well.

I always found it very sad to meet men who maybe had been married for 20 or more years then they decided to launch into their homosexuality. Those men most likely ventured into serial, promiscuous, anonymous sexuality. Their lives were sad, lonely, and often degrading.

I would also like to point out that through friends on FB I find that the serial, non monogamous, relationships are still occurring. I find it disconcerting when I read the sadness of the on and off relationships that occur with some of these guys. Just like my life, I found the new guy, slept with him, hung out every minute I could then after investing so much of my heart, I later found the relationship to end up wounding me and him. At the end, I was broken hearted and the pain would launch me into a frenzy to find the next person to fill the void.

Keep reading, my friend! Thank you for entering into my life through my stories.

John

Hey John! I hope you’re well. I just wanted to pop in because I was reading your blog entry about Valentines. You’re such a great writer! So gifted. Soooo many things popped out to me that I wanted to discuss with you in depth, lol. But I know we’re both very busy…..

As I read your note I found it to interesting how much gay culture has changed (and yet there are still many similarities). About how the only places to meet men were in clubs and bars. And how in the “old days” most men came out when they were older, so they were kind of acting like adolescents in love when they should have been acting like men in relationships.

If that makes sense at all. I can’t imagine what that was like, but I guess in many places in the world and USA it can still be like that. I just wanted to say thanks for the glimpse into the past…boy how times have changed!!

Have a good one
SL